Hello? Sorry? No, Cinderella doesn't live here. This is her Wicked Stepmother. Can I take your message?

I find fairy tales amusing. Really I do. Who says they don't happen in real life? Hey, there's a decent-looking girl. Let's make her a servant, give her a hood, a broom, and some animal friends. The perfect recipe for a fairy tale princess. Flash forward to the 21st century. There's a decent-looking girl! Give her a tank top, fishnet stocking, some YOLO, and a dash of swag. The perfect recipe for a modern-day heroine. Am I right? Whoops, don't forget the peace sign and the iphone! I mean, whoever said apples aren't good for princesses? Psshaw, don't listen to Snow White, she's 14. Though I have to say the same for our "princesses" these days. I mean, mothers! And only 16! Who wouldn't be proud?

Gosh, of course we can't forget about the dashing prince and his noble steed. Prince Charming, who is ever so disarming with that smile of his. Though girls these days will have to settle for charcoaled enamel. Sorry, dear! That's what happens when your dear prince smokes waaaay too much. But you love him anyway, right? Even if he' overweight, aesthetically challenged, and not always sober. After all, it's what's in the pock -eh, I mean the inside that matters, right?

So yeah, next time someone tells you fairy tales don't exist. Laugh them and say "YOLO" then, they'll be pleased to have met one.

Thank you for your time, humans.